I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize