Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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