Little spoons don't ask big questions
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
