First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We need to get me chipped asap
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
