don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
