is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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