this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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