Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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