K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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