ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
