Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
