We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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