some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
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Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My life is pants optional.
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