me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
