2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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