he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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