Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Randomize
