Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
