He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
