Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
