i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
