I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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