lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize