...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
