i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
All I want is dick and wine.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
