Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
