Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
