i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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