she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't want my vagina anymore.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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