New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There r osticjed everywhere
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
