wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
