Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
