speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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