butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
