barbara walters just said penis...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
