You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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