i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
