super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
