This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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