i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
