Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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