my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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