I just cut my nipple shaving
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
