hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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