So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
