She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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