I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize