im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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