after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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