OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
