covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
