oh god the rape fog is back!
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
