Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
