saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
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I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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