glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
