I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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