I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
