so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
