I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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