So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
