Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
