I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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