No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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