Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
