Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
