Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
