I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Do you still have your period?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Can I color on your dick again?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
